


Out of Touch

by fightoffthelighttonight



Category: Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic (Video Games), Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, but fuck it here it is because i can't stop thinking about sad kix and revan, it needs edited but my fingers hurt so just ignore that, no one asked for this, not beta read we die like men, revan is no longer canon so mom said its my turn to make the canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:47:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24047662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fightoffthelighttonight/pseuds/fightoffthelighttonight
Summary: Kix has fallen into work as a re claimer of lost items. When he's hired to find a box in an unknown area of space he could never guess who or what he would find.I take what I please from canon and eu and I make this. Kix is living his saddest life, Revan got frozen similar to the novel only in a way that isn't completely stupid. We join this unlikely duo as they try to solve the mysteries of the past together. Questions, comments, and feedback are always welcome!
Relationships: Kix / Revan, past revan/carth onasi
Comments: 18
Kudos: 33





	1. Out of Time

**Author's Note:**

> Imma be real didn't read the Crimson Corshair novel so if I'm wrong on things in that regard, my bad. Revan is lightside ending with Revanasi. If this gets any attention I'm willing to write more chapters. Anyway here's my attempt at something literally no one asked for, enjoy!

* * *

Kix was never made to be a pirate, he was grateful to the crew of the Crimson Corshair for freeing him of course and hell even giving him a portion of the "treasure", but he was never made to be a pirate. Technically what he was made for was to live and die in service to the Republic. _And to kill those he was sworn to protect_ he thought bitterly. All so he and his brothers could be used as pawns in a game of dejarik he still couldn't comprehend. Kix sighed, why did he always come to same bitter conclusion to his musings? Probably because there wasn't anything else to do alone on a ship but reflect on your greatest failure, but still it was his choice to live alone. Spending his share of the earnings on this ship was his choice as well and the only thing in the galaxy that he had ever truly owned. It wasn't much of a ship and he still couldn't decide on its name but it was his and his alone. He wondered what his brothers would think of him now, scavenging forgotten relics in the Outer Rim and selling it to interested parties from Coruscant to Nal Hutta.

Rex most certainly wouldn't have approved it would have earned him one of his captain's infamous scowls, Jesse would probably laugh and slap the older clone's shoulder declaring,

" _Hey it's a free galaxy, after all that's what we were fighting for right, Captain?"_

This would earn snickers from Echo and Fives.

Rex would sigh in defeat before fixing Kix with his gaze,

_"Just don't get in over your head Kix."_

_Kriff_ he missed them.

Kix was suddenly brought out of his musings by soft beeping from the navcomputer, he was here. Here was actually nowhere according to most galactic maps it was beyond the fringes of every starmap. He still didn't understand how that Hutt aquired such a hyperspace route to the unknown reaches of space but then again Kix probably didn't want to know either. All he did know was he was getting paid an absurd amount of credits to go down to an unknown planet, in an unknown part of the galaxy, to find a box containing the unknown, and bring it to Nar Shadaa. No questions asked, no opening the box, and most importantly no inquiring as to who the interested party was.

"Kix doesn't need to known the misson, he's just a medic." he muttered to himself while he scanned the surface for a clue as to where to look first, remembering the multiple times General Skywalker neglected to tell him what suicide mission they would be on that day beyond. "Bring plenty of bacta patches, Kix and we'll be fine."

The times may have changed but leaving Kix in the dark was an eventuality in every era it seemed. 

On first glance the planet seemed dead as if that was possible, just gray and lifeless and if his scans were to be believed that observation wasn't far from the truth. No lifeforms detected just.... nothing. There were building remnants scattering the surface all in different states of decay and disrepair. It reminded him of the many battlefields he'd seen in his days as a medic in the GAR, all this carnage was certainly left by some great war. But all wars end and life renews, but no one and nothing lived here as if this forgotten war stole every semblance of life left on this forgotten planet. Yeah, he definitely had a bad feeling about this.

Suddenly the scans picked up a large building, much larger than any of the other ruins he'd come across thus far and this structure was emanating a faint power reading. That was his lead power meant, tech, and tech meant information, and information meant he was one step closer to his goal. It was a good place to start in any case. Finding an open area covered in dry dead vegetation Kix set his ship down. He didn't like this planet and would be glad to put it behind him as soon as possible. Flipping the engines to standby, Kix turned to the copilot seat and shoved on his familiar helmet while shouldering his pack and made his way to the docking ramp and stepped out into the gray lit world he had only seen from his windows.

As he made his approach, and the building came better into view, Kix realized this place was much larger and more elaborate than what he was expecting. If Kix had to guess he would say this location had to have been a temple or maybe a palace of some kind. The large twisted gates surrounding the expansive outside former green space he had landed in curled around the perimeter before disappearing into the large onyx walls of the temple itself. Turning his eyes upward, Kix followed the carvings adorning the entirety of the outside stone facade dug deep in the black stone. Inscribed on the walls were faded designs of warriors wielding swords and controlling lightning in their palms, some warriors were humanoid while others a species he wasn't sure he could identify, a Twi'lek maybe? They all seemed to face the large doors set atop an impressive staircase of cracked white stone. The doors themselves were tall and wide enough a whole transport ship could have flown through with ease.

Slowly climbing the staircase, Kix made his way to the massive doors unsure as to what he would do once he reached them. They didn't appear to be electronic of any sort but if that was the case how did anyone get in this place before? There had to be a trick. Finally reaching the entrance Kix traced the face carved on the door with his gloved hand, it another of those Twi'lek beings only this one faced outward in a challenging stance. The being had large eyes inlaid with yellow stones, the only real color he had seen since arriving, and it made it seems more lifelike because of it. Kix removed his hand, yeah this door was creepy alright but it wasn't going to stop him. Maybe he could try blowing the doors open? Or get the ship and-

The eyes on the not Twi'lek guardian seemed to flash and the doors slowly pulled inward.

_Well that was way easier and most certainly not menacing whatsover._ Kix thought as he adjusted his pack and stepped inside.

The inner corridor was lit by sconces on either side of him casting a sickly green light. The walls below the scones were inlaid with even more scenes of warriors as in the same fashion as the outside. The warriors would be shown working together side by side to defeat enemies in long robes but as he continued walking the scenes slowly shifted. These were no longer murals of companions fighting a common foe it was scenes of slaughter. They were stabbing each other in the back, dismembering each other, directing lightning at each other, all scenes of betrayal and death until only one hooded figure remained. Kix was entranced why would they turn on each other like this and more importantly who puts this in their main hall as a welcome? More questions he doubted he'd ever get answers to. He continued on until the corridor slowly opened up into a large room. 

This room was devoid of murals, overhead a large chandelier hung from the vaulted ceiling casting the same green glow as the sconces he had passed. There were pillars decorating the outer corners carved to resemble slaves in subjugation forced to hold the weight of the whole sanctum on their backs.

_Almost as lovely as the murals_ Kix mused as his eye was pulled to the center of the chamber where sat a large box.

_Well that was easier than I expected_.

Kix approached the box, this had to be it, what he was hired to find. Slowly stepping closer, Kix studied the object in front of him. The box was as tall and wide as himself almost coffin like with a whole retinue of wires connecting it to the floor. There were more designs on the lid that Kix surmised were a language of some kind but one he had no way of translating. Faint steam could be seen rising along its edges as the box itself made a soft hum. As Kix examined closer he realized that box was almost familiar in its design, in fact it resembled the box the crew of the Crimson Corshair had found him in.

The box he was found in.

Kix felt bile rise in his throat and suddenly found himself in a frantic bid to open this box. He was to deliver it in tact but he didn't care about the payout if there was someone in there he had to know, he had to free them he would not profit off someone else's misery. He readily remembered the feeling of being trapped, of feeling so cold he was sure he'd never feel warm again, and awakening to a galaxy he didn't recognize having so much time stolen from his. No he was a medic and medics didn't let suffering go untreated. He had to see, had to help, had to know the truth. He felt along this sides, there had to be a manual release, some way to override the locking mechanism. _There._

A soft hiss as air escaped from from its seal and the door slowly swung open. 

Kix wasn't sure what sort of being he expected to see inside or even if there was one at all but a human female was definitely not in the top ten. She was wrapped in a dark cloak with intricate armor underneath. Her ebony hair contrasted starkly with her pale skin, just who was she? She slowly rolled her head off her chest and seemed to look at him for a short second before letting out a groan and slouching once again unconscious. He needed to get her to the ship, there's no telling how long she was in there and if his imprisonment was any indication of what she might be feeling a medbay would be better more comforting place than whatever this horrid location was. 

Nodding his decision he slowly grabbed her by the waist and draped her over his shoulders in an all too familiar carry and as he did he felt something he had only seen before. Adorning her hips and concealed by her cloak were two lightsabers.

Was she a Jedi like the General or Ashoka? His heart leapt at the notion, then they're not all gone, my brothers didn't succeed. He quickened his pace through the long hall of murals at the idea as a small whisper of doubt menaced inside his head

**_Or maybe a Jedi such as Dooku or Maul? She'll kill you so easily you know, and all you'll have done is release another evil onto this galaxy this time. Only you to stop it and you're not even half the man your vod were. Put her back forget your bounty she's nothing to you."_ **

Kix shook his head no these weren't his thoughts were they? He continued on he just needed to reach the ship then he could leave this awful place behind.

**_Little Kix playing at being savior again, well it didn't work last time did it? You only know how to save yourself. You let your brothers die, you let the Jedi die you could have stopped it all but you're too weak aren't you? That's why they made you a medic, you were always the weakest one, you know? Jesse always thought you a coward and he died crushed and burning thinking you deserted him you know?_ **

These were definitely not his thoughts this was something else. The voice sounded like his, echoing around his skull, ripping through his thoughts laughing at him as he gritted his teeth, just a few hundred feet he reminded himself as he stepped back out in the gray light of day. He could get out of here and get this woman some help.

_**Help her? Like how you helped Tup? How you helped Fives? They died because your own incompetence you couldn't see what was so obvious and they paid the price. Oh and not to mention Umbara how many men died under your care?** _

His voice laughed at him again. No focus on the now. Just. Get. To. The. Ship. He was close now as he stumbled down the last fractured step of the white stone staircase, just maybe fifty feet or so and he could forget this place.

_**Oh by all means take her from here, take the Darth Lord let her claim her empire.** _

Kix slowed, what if the voice was right what if she was dangerous, why was he even doing this? To prove some point to himself, to play doctor again?

_**"That's right Kix"**_ , the not voice cooed, 

_**Just set her down and forget this place,** _

_**After all you're in over your head.** _

Over his head?

He remembered his conversation with the ghost of his brothers on the ship, they might not have been real and he was for sure in over his head but Rex wouldn't leave someone behind who needed his help and he wouldn't either.

Kix surged forward with renewed urgency making his way up the ramp and into the ship. He made his way into his cabin and gently laid the mysterious stranger on his bed before making his way to the cockpit. He was getting off this godsforsaken planet and for the first time in a long time he was saving someone. 

_**STOP BRING HER BACK WE NEED HER SHE FEEDS US SHE IS OURS** _

The sound of the voice seemed to rattle the entire ship around him in its fury. And with that Kix officially decided ** _Fuck This_** as he punched in coordinates to the nearest know outpost and made the jump to hyperspace. For one blissful moment Kix could breathe again, no more voice rooting through his brain and finding every dark thought he ever had. Now he could focus on his patient, whoever she may be, and made his way to what was usually his quarters and she was unsurprisingly right where he left her. 

_Ok Kix let's see how rusty you truly are._

Kix removed his helmet before setting it down on the nearby table before removing her gauntlets in order to check her pulse. The gauntlets themselves were beautiful and intricate in their design, he suspected they matched their owner in that regard with a small smile. As he counted her pulse he studied her a little more closely. She was beautiful, that much was obvious even to a clone out of time, her hair loosely pulled back behind her head shining so black it almost looked blue while her skin was pale and spattered with freckles across the bridge of her nose. He then followed the curve of her jaw to a puckered scar neatly hidden behind her right ear. 

_That must of hurt when if happened_ he surmised.

Finishing his counts, her pulse was strong and matched to that of a healthy human at rest, but Kix would have no idea if her faculties were in tact and without a brain scan- but that wasn't exactly something he had on board. He frowned if he was back on the _Resolute_ then he could- no he had to stop doing that. This was now not then and-

"Has anyone ever told you that you think really loud?" 

Kix nearly jumped out of his skin, and looked down at his now very much awake patient. Her eyes were a brilliant bright blue with an intensity unmatched by even General Skywalker and seemed to be studying him intently as a small smile played at the corner of her lips.

"Oddly enough, uh, no?"

She slowly pulled her hand out of his grasp, he hadn't realized he was even still holding it with a blush, and she slowly pushed herself up with a grimace. 

"Hey slow down, trust me chryo sickness isn't as fun as it sounds."

"Chryo-sickness? What in the Force are you talking about?" she seemed utterly perplexed by his statement, eyes narrowed in wariness as if she was trying to decide if he was tricking her to stop her movement.

"I mean I have no clue how long you were in that box and strenuous activity after reanimation is something I don't recommend."

"The box-? I-" she seemed to be working through some type of thought or memory her eyes closed in concentration before snapping open in alarm. She grabbed both his arms in a quick instance.

"Please you have to tell me, how long ago did Darth Malak fall?"

Kix stared at her, unsure how to answer.

"Please how many years?"

She seemed desperate for his answer but Kix didn't have one he only ever heard the word "Darth" once and that was Darth Maul not Malak and he honestly had no clue what happened to him while he was in his own slumber let alone this Malak, but he was determined to help her at the very least calm down.

"I uh don't know who that is maybe you can tell me something else? Some other event?"

Her grip tightened as she looked off to the side lost in another thought and zeroed onto his old helmet and recognition lit up her eyes. 

"You're a Mandolorian?"

"In a matter of speaking."

"How long ago were the Mandolorian Wars?"

He couldn't possibly have heard her right? The Mandolorian Wars were apart of his studies on Kamino, how the Mandolorians nearly overtook the Old Republic. It was part of the reasoning Jango was the clone's template, the ancient war was proof that an army of Mandolorians could topple any army. That Jedi were their only weakness and with them combined their strength was unmatched. It was a history lesson and helped boost morale during his training but she was asking about them like they were apart of recent memory. She couldn't be that old could she? The technology alone would put his own cryo stasis to shame, to last that long of time is beyond any technology that exists to his knowledge. He was drawn out of his thoughts as he realized she was still looking at him in desperation her hands still tightly gripping his forearms.

"I don't know how to tell you this but, the Mandolorian Wars were almost 4.000 years ago."

She heaved a heavy breath and the grief that crossed her face was all too familiar, he was sure he wore a mirrored expression when he himself was woken up and learned of his own "time travel" his heart ached for her.

"I'm so sorry." Her grip on his arms slowly slackened and he took her hands into his own as tears fell slowly from her eyes. Kix couldn't do anything else for her so he simply held her hands and let her cry.


	2. A Mutual Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Literally one person asked for more and more I shall provide and shall keep doing so as long as someone does. So please let me know if you want Kix and Revan's mystery investigation to continue and yeah just thanks for reading guys <3

Revan wasn’t sure how long she held the Mandalorian’s hands as she wept for the time and loved ones she had lost, but he had just sat there silently comforting her in her grief. It was odd he wasn’t like any Mandalorian she’d ever met; he radiated a kindness and sorrow she had never felt by another of his kind. Imagining Canderous comforting her in the same way almost made her laugh, no this man was truly unique. She was drawn from her thoughts as a soft beeping emanated from the front of the ship.

“I’m sorry, let me go shut that off. I’ll be right back, okay?”, he seemed to be asking her permission.

“Oh of course, I’ll be here.”, she quietly remarked while removing her hands from his, he offered her a mirthless half smile before leaving the room.

Revan took the time to wipe her face, she needed to stop feeling sorry for herself there was more pressing concerns than that of her loss. She could hear Master Vrook in her mind chiding her, “This is why we Jedi do not form attachments.”

But he was wrong, she had fallen once to the Darkside and it was never due to any attachment it was from her loyalty to the Code, her fear of failure that caused her fall. In fact, her return to the Light was credited to her love for her companions but the Jedi would never admit that. Not after all her fall nor her redemption would they believe that the Order was anything but infallible. She wondered if the Jedi in this era were the same in their misguided beliefs, that is if they even survived.

The former Jedi sighed, what happened to the galaxy while she slept, what became of the Order, the Republic, even her companions? She was reminded of one of Jolee’s lessons; even if darkness were to win life goes on and hope however faint grows into rebellion. Of course, this lesson was regarding her former apprentice but the presence of this Mandalorian meant the Sith didn’t destroy the galaxy and Canderous was somewhat successful in raising his clans to meet the upcoming threat. Revan needed answers beyond her own assumptions, she needed facts, she needed closure.

She felt the presence of the Mandalorian returning to her side and looked up to offer him a nod in greeting.

“So, we’re currently sitting in orbit around Bastion Station, but I can take you anywhere else you might want to go?”

She watched as he slowly shifted from foot to foot seeming unsure of what to do with his arms.

“That’s very kind Mandalorian but I don’t have anything to pay you with for your service, at least nothing I’m willing to give.” She said with a wry smile that resulted in a blush spreading across the man’s ears.

“Besides do you really wish to chauffer the remnant of an era past in her bid to discover what all she’s lost?” Revan shook her head slightly as she rose from her seat and walked slowly towards him.

“You don’t even know who I am or what I’ve done, and you offer your help, did you ever wonder there might be a reason for my imprisonment?’

Revan raised her eyebrow in question, she sensed her rescuers was a good man, but even good men cannot always be trusted. He seemed to study her intently before replying in a measured voice.

“Whether you realize it or not me and you have suffered a similar fate. I too was taken from my own time and awoke to a galaxy unrecognizable and yet some folks helped me, and it is my duty and, on my conscience, to assist you in the same way.” He seemed to be remembering his own past before matching her stare with his own.

“I don’t expect you to understand but I want to help.”

Revan smiled; he truly was a strange one.

“Very well but if you truly wish to help me perhaps introductions are in order?”

“Oh, of course” he offered his hand to her, “I’m Kix.”

“Well, Kix, I’ve been called many names but the one that’s always been mine is Revan.”

She was certain this was the moment the Mandalorian in front of her would react in anger or in awe that General Revan, the leader of the Grand Army of the Republic, the slayer of Mandalore the Ultimate himself, stood in front of him but instead he simply took her hand and said,

“I’m glad to meet you, Revan.”

Kix must have sensed her disappointment. It might not have been becoming of a Jedi to feel somewhat snubbed by history to be forgotten in a war you helped lead but neither was she a Jedi anymore to begin with.

“I’m sorry, I’m supposed to know who you are, aren’t I?”

“No, it’s fine it’s just as a Mandalorian I thought you would know who lead the Jedi during the war. I’m being silly I apologize.”

She had made this much more awkward than intended. Kix seemed to sense her embarrassment before rambling to fill the silence between them,

“If it makes you feel better, I’m not a very good Mandalorian. In fact, I’m not sure I’m even considered a Mandalorian at all. I heard Jango was deemed an outlier wearing Mandalorian armor, even though clan Fett is in fact a Mandalorian clan, probably a political move if you ask me. And frankly Mandalore never issued a statement on clones to begin with sure we were taught Mando’a and well even given Jaig eyes but-“

Revan held up her hands in attempt to calm his ramblings,

“Wait, wait, you’re some type of clone of House Fett?”

“Yes, one of many, a whole army in fact.”

Revan crossed her arms in thought.

“I didn’t realize Mandalorians could ever achieve such a scientific feat.”

“Well we, I mean they, didn’t the Republic did.”

“WHAT.”

He could not be serious, the Republic, that she herself lead to save the Republic from Mandalorian invasion had decided to clone them to form an army. This was a new level of incompetence in galactic policy she had never seen. Did no one read history in the future, just accepted what was too good to be true as fact? Oh, Mission would have made a fortune off the gullibility of these Senators who agreed to such a thing. Revan shook her head at the sheer ridiculousness of it all.

“And this army of clones, how did it turn out for the Republic?” she laughed in a mocking tone and a dark coldness overtook Kix’s warm demeanor.

“Oddly enough, not good.”

Revan didn’t need to use the Force to feel she had touched upon a very raw nerve in Kix. Reaching out she place a hand on his shoulder and met his down turned gaze.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to mock you or your fellow clones. I simply mean that in my time Mandalorians almost overtook the Republic due to their ferocity and yet I awaken to find them its’ army the situation seems impossible.”

Kix met her gaze, the sorrow still present deep in his warm brown eyes,

“It’s okay, you see more clearly than anyone else did, just suffice to say what happened to the clones and the Republic it’s much worse than anything you are imagining, and the betrayal goes much deeper.”

Raising her hand so she was now holding him by both shoulders she spoke in calm voice,

“Please, Kix, tell me everything you know.”


	3. The Past Remembered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for backstories! I hate how this chapter turned out but it's necessary to reach the duo search for clues coming in the future chapters and I've literally been writing for three hours so it's where it is gonna be. I also didn't want to just rehash Kotor or Clone Wars so excuse the soft swipe I've attempted for both, ya gurl is trying. And finally thanks to literally anyone who left kudos and the few who even left comments as long as I'm getting requests for more I will keep writing to a conclusion which should be around 10-15 chapter (maybe) so keep the chatter up guys if you want more and enjoy!

Kix was certain he had never spoken so long in his entire existence. The story of his life fell from his lips in such a steady stream he was sure it barely made sense, but this stranger, this Jedi, just listened. She only interrupted a few times to ask clarification but other than that she simply sat across from him on his bunk, legs and arms folded as she studied him with an intensity that would normally cause him to feel self-conscious but instead just encouraged him to continue his tale. When he finally reached the end, to the point in which he found the woman across from him, the silence of his small ship almost seemed deafening. Revan let out a breath she had been holding,

“Thank you, Kix, for telling me your story. What you’ve been through, your creation, your loss, it’s not something anyone should be subjected too.”

Her gaze seemed to soften as she reached for his hand,

“But after hearing all you had to say, I am certain of one thing and that is we were brought together for a reason.”

Kix was certain this was one of those “Jedi things”, he’d heard it first from Shaak Ti, then Kenobi, and then Skywalker, it was a coping method they all subscribed to. The idea of the Force, that which gave them their abilities, had a grand plan for them all to follow and all suffering and loss lead you to where you were supposed to be. On the one hand Kix didn’t have a medical reason as to how the Jedi could do what they did, but on the other hand he also didn’t want to believe a cosmic intity had control over who was important enough to live and who was simply meant to die.

“So, you’re saying all I’ve done has been a cosmic intervention to lead me to you?”

Revan frowned while swatting the air with her hand,

“Of course not, nothing is ever that simple especially with what the Force wills, but the fact that out of all the billions of beings in the galaxy and the thousands of years I was trapped, the one who is to find me is himself a man out of time; that isn’t a sign to be ignored.”

Kix could agree it was odd, but he also didn’t wish to debate theology with a woman he just met a few hours ago.

“Well fate or destiny aside, what about you, Revan?”

“Hmm? What about me?”, she seemed to be pulled from a thought with his question.

“I mean, I just laid my entire life’s story out for you and all I know about you is you’re some kind of ancient Jedi that was trapped in a box, on a spooky planet, in nowhere space, where demons yell in your head.” Kix looked down before softly adding, “I just feel like I deserve some backstory myself if we’re going to work together.”

Kix could feel Revan’s eyes studying him as if she was sizing him up before she spoke,

“Perhaps it would be easier if I showed you, then you could understand who I am, and know what I have done. You then could decide for yourself if you still wish to help me.”

Her voice was soft, and her tone was almost warning, like he might not like what she had to show him.

“You can show me, what like through the Force?”

Revan’s mouth slowly turned up at the edges,

“I’m glad you have some experience with the Jedi, the idea can be unnerving to some, but I assure you it’s safe.”

She offered her hands palm upward to him, while her eyebrow quirked as if to question if he was willing to trust her.

“Why not, it’s not everyday you get a tour of someone else’s head.”, Kix said as he laid his hands on top of Revan’s, a warm brown contrast to her pale skin.

Revan let a ghost of a smile cross her lips before saying,

“Calm yourself, ignore all distractions and focus only on my voice, repeat after me.”

Kix closed his eyes on focused only on the feel of her hands and the sound of her soothing cadence,

“I am one with the Force and the Force is with me.”

Kix repeated the phrase back,

“I am one with the Force and the Force is with me.”

“Good, now keep repeating it.”

_“I am one with the Force and the Force is with me.”_

Revan’s voice now joined Kix’s.

_**“I am one with the Force and the Force is with me.”** _

Their voice seemed to combine to create a new one, a voice that wasn’t either of their own.

**_“I am one with the Force and the Force is with me.”_ **

Kix suddenly had a feeling of being weightless but at the same time as if he was falling when he suddenly jolted to his feet.

“Open your eyes, Kix.”

The former medic opened his eyes and found himself no longer on his ship but standing on the surface of a large lake. The lake itself expanded as far as he could see as the surface reflected the night sky, thousands of stars twinkled on its glassy surface. Above him the universe shone with billions of points of light, each one illuminating the water below. Across from him stood Revan, she donned simple robes no longer dressed in her ornate armor as she was on his ship. The starlight seemed to make her skin glow in the darkness, she overall seemed different but besides her clothing he couldn’t say as to what.

“Is this your, head?”

“Not exactly but consider it a place between places. It’s the easiest point to start from as my story doesn’t begin at the beginning.”

Out of all the answers she could give this was surely the least enlightening and the one he’s sure most Jedi would have replied with.

“Okay so where _does_ it start?”

With that the lake’s surface engulfed him and he found himself falling through endless darkness before finding himself standing in room. Only it was room he knew all too familiar, this was a starship, and laying on a bunk in the far side of the room was Revan. She was younger, her hair shorter and the scar below her ear a fresh pink color but it was her. Kix watched as the younger Revan was jostled awake by explosions coming from outside the ship, an attack of some kind he was certain, he did after all have more than enough experience in that regard. She seemed disoriented and confused as she rubbed the scar on her neck and stood to examine the room as if she’d never seen it before.

An older man ran into the room, saying his name was Trask and the ship was under attack that they needed to abandon ship Revan still appeared confused and uncertain but followed the older man out of the barracks. Once again Kix found himself falling rapidly into different scenes; he watched as Revan cut down men in shiny metal armor with a vibroblade, two Jedi fighting in the ships hallway, he watched Trask fall to a dark Jedi, and he saw Revan scrambling into an escape pod with a man in an orange jacket. Then he was standing in a rundown apartment building.

Revan was once again slowing pulling herself up from lying on a bed as she seemed to have just regained consciousness. _There seems to be a pattern forming here,_ Kix mused as he watched Revan study the man she had escaped the ship with only this time he seemed to be in hyper focus; as if this memory had been committed to memory in detail.

The man appeared to be in his mid-thirties and his warm brown eyes had a sadness Kix had only before seen in his own. He introduced himself as Captain Carth Onasi of the Republic fleet, he told Revan they were on a planet called Taris. The only Taris Kix knew of was a scrapyard planet in the Outer Rim but from the window outlooking the street it appeared to be a thriving metropolis. Carth continued with his story of them needing to find a Jedi named Bastilla, before anyone discovers her identity as this “Darth Malak” was searching for her. _Revan mentioned him before_ Kix mused to himself as he turned his attention back to the memory playing out in front of him.

“Malak was an apprentice though, how is he now the ruler of the Sith?” the younger Revan posed; as she rubbed her scar lost in thought.

Carth shook his head in disgust as he folded his arms across his chest, “He was but several months ago a Jedi task force lead by Bastilla boarded his master’s ship. In the chaos Malak fired on the ship killing his teacher and assuming the title of Sith lord, Bastilla was the only survivor who made it off. It’s apparently how the Sith rule, only the strongest can lead.”

Revan frowned as Carth continued,

“Serves him right though if you ask my opinion. They were the best of the Republic and the Jedi and they turned against both, you think Revan would have seen that betrayal coming.”

In that moment multiple things suddenly made sense to Kix; what the voices had screamed in his head, why Revan tried to warn him he might not want to see her past.

**_I didn’t know it at the time, I believed I was simply a solider, how could I believe I was a Sith when everything my head told me otherwise? It wasn’t until much later did I learn I was remade to be good, I was only doing what I was I programmed to be._ **

****

Revan’s voice rang through him as Kix was falling once again, only not into a memory. Kix was standing once more on the starlit lake with Revan turned away from him with her arms folded behind her back.

“You were a dark Jedi?” Kix was reminded of Ventress and the brutality she had left on his brothers.

“Yes.” The reply was barely audible, but her voice grew stronger as she continued,

“I fell to the darkside and it has haunted me ever since I regained my memories the council tried to suppress. I often wonder if the actions of good can ever cancel the evil I have committed.”

She turned around to face Kix, tears were starting to form in her eyes,

“You may hate me Kix but know you can never hate me more than I hate myself.”

“Revan I- “he wasn’t sure how to continue but he felt he was a crossroads, whatever he was to say it would determine both their futures.

“I won’t condone your actions, but it seems there’s more to the story than what you’ve shown me so far. I want to understand.”

Revan viewed him in a way he wasn’t sure as to its meaning before responding,

“And if you still can’t understand?”

Kix held his hand out to her,

“Then it wouldn’t be the first time.”

Revan grabbed his hand and he was falling once more.


End file.
